Emily - July 20th 2015

"The fear I had of being pregnant overcame all other emotions, and I took the pill. On the drive home I was consumed with guilt and regret. I cried the whole way home...I started looking online...and came across a website discussing a reversal process, and it had a phone number. I was filled with hope, but also doubt that it was real or attainable. Once I called the number, I came in contact with the hotline nurse...The next morning I was scheduled to go to the San Juan Diego Center...A worker called me and made sure I was coming, she even asked if I needed a ride. I took her call as a sign that I was doing the right thing."

When I discovered that I was pregnant, like most 19 year olds with an unplanned pregnancy, I was terrified. I was scared of what my parents would say or do, that I was going to be a disappointment, and about my financial future. I was certain I couldn't financially support and provide all the care a baby needed. I was a part-time student and a part-time employee. I earned a very decent living for a person my age, but certainly not enough to support a baby I thought. I also was living at home and sharing an already tightly spaced room with my older sister. I was sure my only choice was abortion.

So I went to Planned Parenthood the following Friday. Every day that passed before my visit to the abortion clinic I thought of telling my parents and trying to think of ways I could keep my baby. I had already bonded with the tiny person inside me and would have little conversations with him. I even told my sister and best friend, Jadrien, that I was pregnant, but fear always overcame my rational thinking. I drove to the clinic that Friday. I was surprised to see a nurse so quickly and taken to a room. She had me sign waiver papers releasing the responsibility from Planned Parenthood if anything were to go wrong. Then she handed me the first pill and a cup of water to wash it down. I didn't know it then, but this pill would cut off the baby's food supply and cause him to stop growing and thriving. I stared at the pill in my hand and became overwhelmed with sadness and the feeling that I was making a terrible mistake. But yet again, the fear I had of being pregnant overcame all other emotions, and I took the pill.

On the drive home I was consumed with guilt and regret. I cried the whole way home. Ironically, it also poured rain the entire night. I felt like Jesus was crying for what I had done. When I got home I told my sister what I had done, and that I wanted to fix it and reverse it somehow. We started looking online at what we could do and we came across a website discussing a reversal process, and it had a phone number. I was filled with hope, but also doubt that it was real or attainable. Once I called the number, I came in contact with the hotline nurse, Elizabeth Delgado, who took my information and said she would call me back in an hour or two once she found something. They say the most sincere prayers come from hospital rooms, death beds and those in the midst of a tragedy. Well, I know that to be true, because during the time I was waiting for Elizabeth to call me back, I prayed for my baby's life harder than I have ever prayed for anything before.

I felt like my soul was crying and pleading with the Lord on behalf of my baby's life. I know God heard my prayer because Elizabeth called me back with the answer to my prayers: Patsy and Willie from the San Juan Diego center. I went to see Patsy the next morning at 7 am, less than 12 hours since I took the first pill. Of course, I was nervous, but I decided I had to trust the solution that God had provided me with. The morning I was scheduled to go and see Patsy, she called me and made sure I was coming, she even asked if I needed a ride. I took her call as a sign that I was doing the right thing.

When I got to the San Juan Diego center, Patsy reassured me that they could save my baby and that everything was going to be okay. She also showed me a model of a 6 week old baby which was the age of mine and I looked at how real and beautiful the baby was even when it was only six weeks old. I think a common misconception about babies and one that the abortion industry loves to promote, is that young babies in utero are only cells and aren't real people. This is entirely untrue and when I saw that model I couldn't believe that I almost ended my little baby's life. I came home that day and told my parents everything and about the reversal process I was undergoing. My mom was very receptive and came to meet Patsy and Willie the next day and supported me with love my entire pregnancy and still supports me to this day.

Everything fell into place after that and I remember hearing my son's heartbeat for the first time around Thanksgiving. Then in July, I gave birth to a perfectly healthy, beautiful 9 1/2 pound baby named Ezekiel which means "God strengthens" because that's what God did. He protected and strengthened my baby against the abortion pill’s effects through Dr. Delgado and Dr. Davenport's reversal process.

I am for forever changed into a new person because of my son and what I went through to bring him into this world. He is the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me and I am so blessed to have him as my son. God says children are a blessing and a gift from above, and I cannot agree more. I hope everyone when faced with this choice chooses life, but thankfully, if they make a mistake like mine, there's a second chance, which is the reversal process.  

 

Hannah - July 20th 2015

Some people may look at me as hypocritical because I am pro-life. This is because on the day I turned 19, I had an abortion. I was about five weeks along when I took the RU486 pill. I was a young, naive girl who thought partying and fooling around had no consequences – much like many teens believe. I was in my freshman year of college at an out-of-state university which my parents were paying big bucks for me to attend.

I came home for Christmas break, and my mother was adamant about me meeting her friend’s son, so I did. I met him, and we partied together, and had sex a few times. One of those times being without a condom. After all, there were no consequences for me.

I was raised Catholic, but somehow, I had lost my way. I felt the pressure of society and became the selfish, self-proclaimed woman that society had wanted me to be. I didn’t dare tell my mother that I was pregnant, because I knew she would make me keep the child, and my life, as I knew it, would be over.

As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I called the guy and told him, and his response was, “You have to get an abortion.” And as much as I knew it was wrong, I agreed, because I couldn’t imagine my life as a single mother.

I was scared. I knew that this guy wanted nothing to do with me, or with a child, for that matter. He forked over the $350, and away to a clinic I went. They gave me a pill to take orally first and a few others to stick inside my vagina.

Coincidentally, this was right around the time of my birthday, and on the night of my birthday – when all my friends were out partying – I was inside my friend’s dorm room, killing my child. I cramped and bled in the toilet for hours.

Isn’t it ironic that on the day of my birth, I was killing my child? What made me so special that I got to live, but my child must die? Why did I get to breathe a lifetime’s worth of breaths, when my child would never take his first?

I kept on living as if nothing had happened. It wasn’t until a few years later that it hit me, and it hit me hard. I was pregnant, again. This time with my current husband, who had more morals than the first guy. He decided to change his life and become a father.

I was reading a near-death experience of a man who was cast into hell. I remember breaking down and wailing. My husband didn’t know at the time about my previous abortion and asked what was wrong. I told him, “I don’t want to go to hell.” I cried and cried, and I still cry to this day, knowing that I killed my child, and that I will face judgment one day. I cry myself to sleep all the time. What have I done?

I was so selfish and self-absorbed that I couldn’t allow a baby to protrude into my life. I also remember reading “The Testimony of Gloria Polo,” which was another near-death experience, and in one part, God talks to her about all the abortions and unintended abortions she caused by being on birth control, and how each conception produces a spark of light which becomes the soul. Every conception is beautiful and full of light and full of spirit. That spirit comes into life at each conception.

I killed that life. Abortion is the greatest evil of our time, and we have brushed it off as if it is a woman’s choice. If I could do time in prison for the murder I committed, I would.

It shouldn’t be a choice. The choice you have is the choice where you decide to open your legs or not. If a baby results, your “choice” has already happened. I wish abortion was never legal, and I never would have had that choice, because I would be with my child, and my life would not be so full of pain and regret.

Abortion is nothing but a selfish, cowardly act, and I know because I had one.

 

Reprinted with permission of LIVEACTION.ORG

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