Your girlfriend has just told you she's pregnant, and life as you know it will never be the same. Surprised, scared, happy, upset? Know that your feelings are valid and normal. Maybe you are looking for a "quick fix". It can seem like a waste of time to stop, to think, to gather all the facts you need. But slow down. Take your time. Learn all you can before making a decision that cannot be reversed and may have unexpected consequences that last a lifetime. Don't bail. She is looking to you for help and guidance.
You probably have many questions and all of them deserve serious consideration. We'll try to answer some of them with the information provided below.
This next statement may surprise you. It is not uncommon to have a positive pregnancy test and not have a baby growing in the uterus. Up to 25% of pregnancies end in natural miscarriage, or it might be a tubal pregnancy. We can perform an ultrasound to determine if the pregnancy is viable (capable of growing to term).
Have you thought about the possible emotional consequences of abortion? In one study, over 90% of the women polled eventually regretted their abortions. Listen as women talk about their abortion experiences. Sometimes it's the men who look back with remorse. You can read more testimonies here. Most relationships cannot withstand the strain of an abortion and the couple breaks up.
One of the reasons a person may choose abortion is that he/she doesn't really know what happens during an abortion. Abortion procedures are explained here.
Or you may choose to watch a video of a live abortion procedure. WARNING! This video is graphic!
You may have heard all kinds of things from friends about fetal development. Even some medical people may tell you that it's just a blob of tissue or may refer to your baby as a "product of conception". Did you know that your baby's heart starts beating just 21 days after conception? Check it out!
Is your relationship at a place where the subject of marriage has come up? A baby is not a good reason to get married, but if it were already in your long term plans, there may be some legal and emotional benefits to marrying a little earlier than planned.
If neither you nor your girlfriend are in a position to raise a child, another option to consider might be adoption.
We hope the information provided above has been helpful to you. Dealing with an unplanned or crisis pregnancy may be one of the most difficult challenges you will ever face. Don't try to face it alone. Reach out to someone who has your best interest at heart and has nothing to gain financially from your choice. As scary as it may sound at first, talk to your parents. After initially being startled by the news, most parents calm down and want to help. You might also want to reach out to a trusted teacher or your pastor/rabbi.
Come with your girlfriend to Life Choices Women's Center (LCWC) and let one of our trained advocates help you both sort it all out.